GRRRRRRRRRRRR: How to deal with it

You know the feeling.

You have been betrayed, let down or hurt.  Your stomach feels like it’s churning and there’s a burning heat inside you.  Anger.  Resentment.  Disappointment.

But you push those feelings away.  You take the “high road”.  You try to move forward.

The problem is, just because we hide from emotions, it doesn’t mean they are going to go away.  

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anger

Last week, I woke up with no less than 10 cold sores.  My lips were practically coated.  My throat felt fiery and sore.

I didn’t understand it.  I had been eating all the right things for my body, enjoying regular exercise and my life had been flowing beautifully.  Why was this coming up?

I sat with it.  I journalled on it.  And still I couldn’t work it out.

Then it wasn’t until I headed way for a few days, and I found some space that I saw the pattern… In the past few months I have lost my voice, had countless sore throats, and now a mouth full of cold sores.  Throat chakra.  Restricted voice.  Holding on to anger and resentment.

It’s something I thought I was over.  It’s something I thought I had moved on from.

I was living authentically.  Life was really beautiful.  Why was this coming up?

And then it hit me – I have never fully expressed my feelings.  In an effort to keep things peaceful, to have a quick transition, I never told this person just how much they hurt me.  In truth, my pride also didn’t want them to know just how hurt I was.  So I pushed my feelings away in an effort to “keep the peace” and “save face”.  But in doing so, I had only damaged and betrayed myself.

I could no longer deny my feelings.  My voice was crying out to be heard.

I needed to release.  To communicate.  To forgive.  To be free.

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When we hold onto anger and resentment, it really can be toxic.  I’ve seen first hand this week, just how damaging it can be.  But it doesn’t mean anger itself is toxic.

My anger has protected me.  While my heart remains open, my anger has ensured I now only let people into my life who have pure intentions.  My anger has made me strong.

I now see the beauty in it.  I am grateful for it.

But now it’s time to bring the dark side, into the light.  It’s time for me to continue to look at my anger through loving eyes, and use it to positively propel myself forward.

“Never apologize for showing feelings. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.”

~Benjamin Disraeli

I never gave myself an outlet for my hurt.  And in doing so, allowed resentment and then anger to fester.

I can no longer deny these feelings.  They need to be released in a healthy way, so I can finally draw a line in the sand.

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So how can we accept and release these feeling to ultimately free ourselves?

– Sit with the feelings.  Allow yourself to truly feel.

– Look at the gift.  How has this emotion served you in a positive way?  Get comfortable with the good it has provided you.

– Find an outlet for your emotions.  Journal.  Write a letter to the person detailing exactly how you feel and then burn it.  Allow the flames take away your hurt.

– Express yourself from the get go.  When we communicate how we truly feel, we are taking a huge step out of our comfort zone, but a huge leap towards growth and freedom.  It takes a lot of strength.  This is not to stir up old wounds.  It’s not to cause trouble or play a game of tit for tat.  It’s for your growth, and for you to honour your truth.  If you express yourself from a place of calm and love, you can’t go wrong.  How you feel, matters.

– Forgive.  The act of true forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.  You aren’t forgiving for the other person, but for YOU.  We need to forgive those that we believe wronged us, but we also need to forgive ourselves too.

– Get support from different healing modalities : Reiki, Kinesiology and Coaching are all beautiful ways to help get that resentment shifting.

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Don’t let the past dictate your future.  Let your voice be heard.

We can never control what other people do, but we can control how we react.  React with love, authenticity and with absolute truth.

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